Directions:
If your LAST name starts with a letter between A-H answer the following questions:
- CREDIBILITY - #1
- EVIDENCE - #1 & #2
- COMMON GROUND - #1
If your LAST name starts with a letter between J-Z answer the following questions:
- CREDIBILITY - #2 & #3
- EVIDENCE - #3
- COMMON GROUND - # 1
THE ASSIGNMENT IS DUE BY TUESDAY @ 12noon
...............................
Credibility, Evidence, and Common Ground
Credibility – In 6-c, Hacker recommends that your
introduction should “establish credibility and state your position” (86).
- We don’t have Epstein’s
formal introduction. But she still has to maintain credibility and state
her position. Find one passage that illustrates how she maintains
credibility and one passage in which she states her position.
Quote each passage, and explain why you selected them.
- Re-read your introduction
for Paper 1. What revisions can you make to your introduction to help
establish your credibility?
- Does your introduction
include a sentence (or two) that articulates your perspective or position?
If so, good. Rewrite the sentence(s) for this assignment. If not, try to
locate such sentences in your draft. Rewrite those sentences in a way that
helps you get your perspective into the introduction.
Evidence – Evidence is the stuff that supports our
points or ideas. In 6-e, Hacker writes about three main kinds of evidence:
facts and statistics, examples and illustrations, expert opinion (89-90).
- Find one example of each
kind of evidence in Epstein’s article. Quote each passage and explain how
the evidence works to support a specific point or claim.
- Look at your draft. Find
one example of at least two kinds of evidence in your draft. What
point does each piece of evidence help you support (or develop)? If the
evidence isn’t supporting a point, is there a point that you can make
with that evidence? Is there other evidence that might better help you support
that point?
- Examples and
illustrations, when used together with other evidence, can help “flesh out
an argument and bring it to life” (Hacker 89). Find a specific example of
lifestyle branding on the (Red) website. Try to use that example in
combination with “expert opinion” on lifestyle branding to develop a point
of your own. (In other words, write a paragraph that makes a claim or
point by using expert opinion and an example from (Red).)
Common Ground – We sometimes seek to overlook or
ignore the evidence (or the perspective) that doesn’t support our own position
when we make an argument. When we do this we miss opportunities to persuade
readers. At the extreme, such omissions can undermine our credibility.
- Find a passage that shows
Epstein working “to build common ground” (Hacker 93). What would be lost
if Epstein left that passage out of her article?
Revisit your draft for Paper 1. As you think about the
position(s) you are taking, do you see pieces from Epstein or (Red) that might
lead people to take a different position? How might you account for that
material and build some common ground?
Credibility- #1:
ReplyDelete1. “Stoneburner and Low-Beer maintain that these painful personal conversations did more than anything else to persuade Ugandans to come to terms with the reality of AIDS, care for the afflicted, and change their behavior. This in turn led to declines in HIV transmission” (158).
- Epstein maintains her credibility in this passage by addressing the results of effective, painful conversation about AIDS. By revealing that HIV transmission declined because of conversation, Epstein appeals to the reader with ethos, therefore making her position trustworthy and credible.
“She points out that programs for prevention might need to be in the hands of Africans themselves in order to account for local cultures… Instead, listening to and understanding the traditions and customs of individual cultures might lead to more successful approaches to the AIDS epidemic” (151).
- Epstein’s position and belief about the discussion of AIDS is to have a direct approach using inside influence and to understand the individual cultures to get across more effectively to them.
Evidence - #1, #2:
1. “There is a direct correlation between young people’s sexual behavior and their sense of confidence in the future. Those young people who feel motivated, who feel that they have something to look forward to – they are the ones who protect themselves, who ensure that they do not get HIV/AIDS” (155).
- Using this statistic/fact, Epstein is capable of supporting her claim that someone who sees a future for him or herself will make better decisions about sex and HIV/AID prevention.
“For example, on one of them, the hands of four women of different races caressed the sculpted back and buttocks of a young black man… The caption read, ‘Everyone he’s slept with, is sleeping with you’ ” (154).
- Using this example/illustration, Epstein is capable of supporting her claim that using marketing to directly acknowledge the dangers of sex can make people consider thinking or acting more responsibly.
“There was a nursery where thirty babies and small children, all of them HIV positive, all abandoned by their parents, lay on cots or sat quietly on the floor, struggling for life” (160).
- Although this isn’t a literal visual such as a graph or chart, Epstein is capable of having the reader visualize this nursery and feel sympathy for the babies and children. Epstein is appealing to the reader by using ethos and pathos.
2. “For an example, an orthodox Jew would find the diner’s review to be useless because he is limited by his religious and/or personal beliefs.”
- By using this example, I was able to support my belief that Gilbert fails to acknowledge things such as limitation of resources or personal likes/dislikes that would make a surrogates report inaccurate to someone else’s experience.
- I didn’t give a second, different type of evidence in my essay rough draft. In my revised essay, I talked about performed studies. I should have used evidence such as statistics that were formed from the study results as supporting evidence.
Common Ground- #1:
1. “A more realistic HIV prevention would have paid less attention to aspirations and dreams unattainable for so many young people, and greater attention to the real circumstances in people’s lives that make it hard for them to avoid infection. It would have also been more frank about the real human consequences of the disease. But that would have meant dealing with some very painful matters that South Africa’s policy-makers seemed determined to evade” (161).
- What would have been lost if Epstein left this passage out of her article is the overall support to her position throughout the article. Without her concluding that she believes focusing on real human consequences from the disease is more effective than indirectly or overall avoiding the discussion would have made all the connections and claims she had made fall through.
1.)
ReplyDelete“In the past couple years, nearly a thousand loveLife billboards had sprouted all along the nation’s main roads. They were striking. For example…antique level post.” This quote shows how Epstein establishes credibility for the rest of her essay. This quote was found at the start of her essay, and by her saying “in that past couple of years,”(153) means that she has witnessed most what loveLife has achieved or done, so she must be knowledgeable of what loveLife has to offer or of what they do.
“It turns out that talking about the pain, both physical and emotional, that disease creates is far more difficult than getting over the embarrassment of talking about sex,”(157). In this quotation, Epstein is detracting from the kids of the loveLife centers, how they would rather talk about sex openly than talk about HIV/AIDS. Through Epstein’s tone in this quotation, she is suggesting that the kids should talk about the horrors and facts about HIV/AIDS rather than sex, thus loveLife is not doing an adequate job.
2.)
“Surveys showed that nearly everyone in South Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness to an uninfected partner,”(152). This quotation is a type of statistical or fact evidence. Even though most people know this fact, the people do not take part these acts knowing there is a big epidemic. It shows that even though people know how to prevent the spread, they are ignorant and do not try to prevent themselves.
“Once I visited the loveLife center, the woman continued, but I just saw children playing, I sat and talked with them, and they were shocked when I told them I was HIV positive… I don’t know why they haven’t called,”(157). This is a quotation that gives an illustration or example through the form of a story. Here Epstein gives an example of an old lady that was HIV positive and had gone to loveLife for support or to give knowledge to the children, but Lovelife ignored her, it shows how Lovelife wanted nothing to do with HIV patients.
“These seminars help young people see the future, identify choices, and identify the values that underpin those choices,” (159). This quotation is one that Dr. Harrison tells Epstein. He is a South African Doctor and also the director of Lovelife, so he must be an expert to that field. He is explaining what the benefits the seminars provide and how great they are, but it might be a bit biased since he is the director.
From my draft, there is an expert opinion when I quote the author of the essay I am analyzing; the opinion he expresses is that of the role of surrogates and how they can be benefitted from. This evidence helps me criticize Gilberts of opinion and how he may have lacked certain aspects of surrogacy. A statistical evidence that I have from my draft is a quote straight from “Reporting Live From Tomorrow,” and it is stating how wealth does not really increase happiness in peoples lives, just when going from poverty to middle class, but wealth after that does little to increase happiness. This evidence aids me in analyzing how well Gilbert did in demonstrating the importance of surrogates.
3.)
“Today, the roads and other services are insufficient…and the crime rate is one of the highest in South Africa.” (155) Here Epstein is talking about Johannesburg, a town in South Africa that is in very poverty and has a high HIV/AIDS rate. Epstein is sympathizing with this town in order to establish common ground; she knows the hardships this town is going through and even though she is criticizing most of South Africa for not talking openly of HIV/AIDS as Uganda and Rwanda are, not including common ground would not make it seem as if she is biased, but by including it, there would be no worries.
David,
DeleteWhen you say, "It shows that even though people know how to prevent the spread, they are ignorant and do not try to prevent themselves," this is wrong. Epstein is NOT suggesting these individuals are ignorant and do nothing to prevent HIV, quite the opposite, she argues that the LoveLife campaign is attempting to "teach" these individuals what they already know, instead of using alternative, more affective approaches. Nowhere in the text does she suggest the South African people are "ignorant and do not try to prevent themselves" from contracting the disease.
David,
DeleteBe careful of making bold, blanketed claims without support. When you claim South Africa is a country that suffers from severe poverty is this Epstein's claim or yours? If you feel this is Epstein's claim, you need to support that with evidence from the text -- where does it suggest this is her opinion? If this is YOUR claim, again, you need to support this claim with evidence/support. Technically, South Africa's national poverty rate is 23%, whereas the United States's national poverty rate is 15.1%. One could easily argue that if the U.S. is considered a "developed" and economically successful country, then so is South Africa, as their poverty rate suggests they are not far behind the U.S. Thus, be very careful of making claims such as these without backing them up.
Also, when you say at the end, "by including it (i'm not entirely sure what "it" is, but nevertheless), there would be no worries," this is a bold statement. NOTHING should be read with "no worries," as I hope I have taught you in this course. When one reads, they should ALWAYS read with a critical mind, especially in an academic setting. I am sure Epstein is quite aware of this, as she is a scholar and published in academic publications. Thus, when you say, "there would be no worries," this is poor assumption and a bold claim that needs to backed up, qualified or avoided altogether. Be careful with your language.
Credibility #2 - The weakness I saw was in my thesis statement. To establish better credibility i had to reform my thesis to address the what how and why aspects.
ReplyDelete#3 - He emphasizes greatly on exercising the use of a surrogate by referring to studies based on human behavior and thoroughly encourages society to change their ways of approaching a broad spectrum of situations.
The use of a surrogate and the importance they can bring to a society is greatly misunderstood.
Evidence #1 - Facts and Statistics: "Unemployment exceeds 70 percent and the crime rate is one of the highest in South Africa." He uses this statistic to show that their are not enough jobs for the growing population of the region. It also emphasizes his statement when he says "lack of easy access ti clean water and sanitation." The number of people highly outweigh the jobs and resources available.
Examples and Illustrations: "LoveLife's win was to get young people talking, to each other and to their parents, so they would really understand and act on what they knew. But to reach out to them' you had to use a special language that young people could relate to." This observation the author shares with us illustrates the obstacles that needed to be conquered in order to reach out to these kids. The hard part was not getting within the region to help these people. The real struggle was to penetrate their minds in such a way so they would listen to you. Using a different angle toward approaching these kids was the main problem.
Expert Opinion: "It turns out that talking about the pain, both physical and emotional, that the disease creates is far more difficult than getting over the embarrassment of talking about sex." In this quote, the author expresses his observations through his opinion on the matter. He states that a subject being discussed is definitely harder than another topic at hand. Thus supporting his claim made in the following sentence when he uses a quote from an Inkanyezi girl.
#2 - Facts and Statistics: "In observing the class discussion based upon this topic, a majority of the students voted to see a menu." This statement made in the essay takes a simulated poll and uses it to support the claim made that we overestimate our uniqueness.
Expert Opinion: "The majority decision shows that they trust themselves more than a person with a first-hand account of what they are about to experience. This can be traced directly back to the claim the author made in the text, "…we enjoy thinking ourselves as special…" (pg. 223)." This excerpt from the essay is analyzing the poll decision from the class. It supplies the meaning behind what the majority decision was and further supports the overall theme of the essay which is that surrogates are widely underused.
Common Ground #1 - "Ugandans are not usually compassionate people, and discrimination against people with AIDS persists in some families and institutions." This statement made by the author is left unnoticed until you keep reading the paragraph. In the next sentence he contradicts the statement. This is a weak spot in his essay.
Credibility
ReplyDelete1. "In 1999, a group of public health experts sponsored by the U.S. based Kaiser Family Foundation stepped into this fray. They were concerned about the worsening AIDS"(153).
"In response to government prevarication over HIV treatment, a vigorous AIDS activist movement emerged in South Africa and a fierce public relations battle ensued"(152).
The first quotation provides credibility because she is in a sense citing a source that she is basing her information off of. The second quotation states her position as her stating that there is a major problem in South Africa right now but there are groups already there helping out and she is recognizing that.
2. In my first essay, I can revise my first sentence to establish credibility by citing a source that I am going to use, or I can provide the reader with information regarding what I have read. By not placing something in my opinion, it will establish credibility.
Evidence
3. On the Red website, they sell (Red) Beats by dre. These headphones not only are a great product, they also because of the color will show that you are doing your part and are helping in supporting the fight against AIDS in Africa. In relation to the expert, they agree with what the expert said because it provides the people something to feel good about when they are donating money to a certain cause. These headphones allow consumers to show off to the people around them that they are donating money. This makes people and the people around think that you are doing good.
Common Ground
1. Epstein is working to create a common ground when she says, "The average age at which youth South Africans lose their virginity around seventeen is not much different from the age at which teenagers in other countries do." By including this passage in her writing, it creates a connection with readers from other countries and makes the reader that this is closer than it may seem. If the author would have left this passage out, it would have left the reader disconnected from the topic and would make the reader think that something of this sort could never possibly happen to them.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. To have better established my credibility, I could have introduced the reader to Gilbert’s argument more effectively and used support directly from his text.
3. We aren’t psychic, we make mistakes and we learn as we go. Daniel Gilbert argues that surrogates are capable of helping people make better decisions regarding future emotions by appealing to logic using observations from studies in order to support his claim that we aren’t that different from one another, however the idea of individuality complicates this belief.
Evidence
1. A specific example of lifestyle branding on this website is the use of HIV as a way to promote their sales. Andrew Mwenda, a journalist and “critic of many forms of Western aid to Africa” argues that aid doesn’t benefit Africa but instead “makes objects of the poor - they become passive recipients of charity rather than active participants in their own economic betterment.” Most people buy into the lifestyle branding advertising believing that they are making the lives of people in Africa better but what they don’t know is that African governments abuse the aid and the residents never really receive the help.
Common Ground
1. “Kids have changed,” Harrison explained. “Seventy five percent of south African teenagers watch TV every day. Their favorite program is the bold and the Beautiful. They are exposed to the global youth culture of music, fashion, pop icons, and commercial brands.” I feel that this passage was a way for the audience to connect with Epstein and really acknowledge her argument. By establishing the common values with the readers, it interests them to engage and relate more to the text.
Credibility
ReplyDelete#2: For my paper 1 I could revise my middle points by giving a short synopsis of his examples I brought up. Then I could talk more about how Gilbert is highly regarded as a philosopher.
#3 Yes, "He gives examples that show positive outcomes from using surrogates. He does this in order to enlighten people that we should take full advantage of surrogacy; however he does leave out some statistics that could contradict his previous statements."
Evidence:
On the (Red) website it is very graphic and inviting. It right away present you with a statistic that says they donate fifty percent of their proceeds to fight AIDS. The website also gives you a positive and encouraging fact about how by 2015 it's possible for the world to stop the transmission of HIV from mothers to their babies. My expert opinion is that the website is very persuasive and makes it seem exciting to help out their foundation. They have a lot of very popular sponsors that they showcase very nicely. Such as Starbucks, Apple, Coke, Beats by Dre, Bed Bath and Beyond and many others. When customers buy the Beats by Dre they are showcasing to the world the awareness even when they are just walking around listening to music. When people see others helping out and supporting a cause that makes other people want to reach out and get involved just as much.
Common Ground:
#1 When Epstein brings in the quote from a teenage boy saying, "I go with my chick and I spend money on her and always we have sex" (156). It shows that adolescents don't understand and grasp the reality and seriousness of having unprotected sex. It shows how kids who are obviously not mature enough to have sex are having sex quite often. They don't realize how much they put themselves at risk for HIV. It was important for Epstein to put this in because it opens peoples eyes about how young kids start having sex all over the world. And most likely kids from all different countries start around somewhat the same age. It makes the article relatable to all and shows that it is a problem all around the world, and people need to stop ignoring the harsh reality.
Credibility
ReplyDelete1. "Their program called, loveLife, would soon become South Africa's largest and most ambitious HIV prevention campaign"..."What we want to do is create substantive, normative shift in the way young people behave, explained loveLife's director David Harrison a white South African doctor" (153).
By giving the name of the association she is going to be focusing on and also placing a quote of the director himself. Who is also a South African doctor so you know he deals with patients infected with HIV.
"In general, although sex was openly discussed at the Y-Center, the experience of AIDS was not"(157).
-Epstein is placing her position by asserting that she feels the purpose of creating these groups was to speak freely and address the issue of AIDS but she doesn't see that its lived up to its expectations. She sees it as they are beating around the bush.
Evidence
1."By 2005, the death rate had tripled. Surveys showed that nearly everyone in South Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness to an uninfected partner" (152).
-The form of evidence being showed is a fact/statistics. They give you the date and how many infected people there was. It supports the the evidence that South Africans needed some sort of support and help because the HIV virus was spreading dramatically quick amongst themselves.
"In the past couple of years, nearly a thousand loveLife billboards had sprouted all along the nation's main roads. they were striking. for example, on one of them, the hands of four women of different races carressed the sculpted back and buttocks of a young black man as though they were appraising an antique newel post. The caption read, "everyone he's slept with is sleeping with you"(154).
-the form of evidence being showed is examples and illustrations. Aimed towards woman because they want women to see and understand that they need to take care of themselves and remain faithful. To give themselves respect and self-worth.
"What's different Harrison said was that many of the young South Africans who were sexually active were very sexualluy active. They were more likely to start having sex at very young ages, even below the age of fourteen-well below the national average"(153).
- The form of evidence being showed is expert. Harrison the director of loveLife is stressing the issue that young teens are having unprotected sex and getting AIDS. He's trying to spread awareness.
2. In my rough draft I talk about the example Gilbert gives on how someone would feel awkward if they went to a party and someone else was wearing the same outfit. I used this example in my paper because it helps support Gilbert's claim that we like to think of ourselves as special and unique.
I also include the results of a study Gilbert analyzes that adresses the issue on who makes better predictions of their future emotions, simulators or surrogators, and results showed that the surrogators made more accurate predictions. This helps support Gilbert's claim about leaving imagination behind as a whole.
Common Ground
1."Perhaps many attempts to prevent the spread of HIV fail because those in charge of them don't recognize that the decisions people make about sex are usally a matter of feeling and not calculation. In other words, sexual behavior is determined less by what Dr. Harrison called "discount rates" that young people "apply to future benefits" than by emotional attachments.
By Epstein including this passage she acknowledges the efforts loveLife was trying to make in order to help stop the spread of HIV amongst South Africans but she also acknowledges that there could be other efforts such as emotional feelings that have triggered the spread as well. If this passage wouldn't have been included it would have made it difficult for the audience to connect because they might not fully agree with loveLife efforts.
Credibility:
ReplyDelete2) In order to establish more credibility I could cite more specific examples included in the main text. It will help make my analysis clearer to the reader and may open questions for him or her to be elaborated in the body paragraphs.
3) “Gilbert points out that with the belief of the individual thinking that it is one of a kind, looking to other people to gauge their future experiences is considered useless to them.”
Evidence:
3) The RED website posted a movie poster specifically the recent “Lone Ranger” stating that they have partnered with the Walt Disney Company and that each purchase of the movie soundtrack will help in the fight against HIV. By pairing up their campaign with a Hollywood movie under a popular company like Disney they are making an association with donating and the movie industry. Hollywood connotes glamour and lavishness certainly making it more appealing to donate to a charity partnered with such a lucrative and globally recognized industry.
Common Ground:
1) “I thought of the South African girls who said they had lost a sister or a friend to AIDS. If one of them was faced with a persistent, wealthy seducer, what would be more likely to persuade her to decline? The memory of a loveLife billboard, with its flashy, beautiful models? Or the memory of a person she had known who had died?”
- This passage drives Epstein’s point further in which the efforts of the loveLife campaign though commendable has done nothing but create a fake reality that will be hard to achieve by the impoverished youth of Africa. To Epstein the problem must be tackled head on instead of trying to skirt around it.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. In my essay introduction I did little to establish credibility other than refer to public figure. To adjust this I could have referred to civil rights in order to show an understanding of the topic I was going to write about.
3. "Martin Luther King Jr. incorporates pathos effectively in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail” to criticize the Christian Church for losing the power and trust it had taken so long to gain." Here I state that MLK incorporates pathos EFFECTIVELY suggesting that I agree with his views.
Evidence
3. The more confidence you have in being successful and reaching goals in the future the lower the possibility of AIDS is. As Harrison states “It’s all about the social discount rates that young people apply to future benefits.” He then explains that the more people have to look forward to the more caution they take to not get AIDS or HIV. It is basic knowledge to people that you take care of the things with value and do less for the worthless.
Common Ground
1.Page 161 towards the end Epstein states, “It was heartening that Western donors were now spending so much money on AIDS programs in Africa.” By stating this she addresses any critics who would claim that she was ignoring the fact that a lot of money is being put up for the problem. She then goes on to explain that they are using the money unwisely by putting it towards campaigns and making it such a difficult process to put it to use. If she had left this part out the audience could have argued that money was already given to them and they would have thought that was all South Africa needed.
Credibility:
ReplyDelete1. Epstein demonstrates credibility in the first paragraph on page 153 stating, “Their program, called loveLife, would soon become South Africa’s largest and most ambitious HIV prevention campaign. It aimed both to overcome the limitations of similar campaigns that had failed in the past and, at the same time, to avoid dealing with the issue of AIDS treatment and care that had become so controversial.” She clearly has done research on the topic by identifying the HIV prevention program and describing the goals of the program. In the proceeding paragraph, Epstein questions the effectiveness of the loveLife program. She thinks to herself, “Could this work? I wondered. Was it possible to reduce the spread of HIV without involving HIV-positive people and the activists and community groups that supported them?” (Epstein 153). Epstein becomes skeptical of the process of the loveLife program. She is confused by the approach the program decides to take to reduce HIV.
Evidence:
1. Epstein uses facts and statistics to support her claim. In the middle of the second paragraph she claims, “By 2005, the death rate for young adults had tripled. Surveys showed that nearly everyone in South Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness to an uninfected partner” (Epstein 152). The evidence gives proof of why HIV is an important topic. On page 157, a little girl wishes that there were “more counseling and support groups for people who find out their parents are HIV positive. It puts you down, it really gets to you, it haunts you. When you are standing in class and you have to recite a poem or something, I find I can’t get anything out of my mouth. I can’t concentrate. I didn’t care about HIV until I found out about my mother. Then I started to care about these people. I wish many people in our country would also think like that.” Epstein gives an example of a little girl’s situation. This adds not statistical evidence but demonstrates how it affects people daily. In the first paragraph on page 158, Epstein states, “In 2003, the only African country that had seen a nationwide decline in HIV prevalence was Uganda. Since 1992 the HIV rate had fallen by some two-thirds, a success [are discussed elsewhere], but the epidemiologists Rand Stoneburner and Daniel Low-Beer have argued that a powerful role was played by the ordinary, but frank, conversations people had with family, friends, and neighbors-not about sex, but about the frightening, calamitous effects of AIDS itself.” She cites the opinions of two experts on a specific study performed in Uganda. It supports her claim that people need to talk about the terrible affects of HIV in order to decrease the number of people getting the disease.
2. In my essay I use examples as evidence for supporting my claim. In the second body paragraph the example used is about students writing personal statements for college. It supports my claim that people are not overestimating their uniqueness it’s because society asks what makes them unique from others. My second type of evidence used to support my claim is one of Gilbert’s claims. He states, “because we can feel our own emotions but must infer the emotions of others by watching their faces and listening to their voices, we often have the impression that others don’t experience the same intensity of emotion that we do” (Gilbert 224). I use his expertise analysis as a counterargument to his claim. If we can’t measure our own emotions to other people a surrogate cannot determine how someone will feel in the future.
ReplyDeleteCommon Ground:
1. On pages 154-155, in the last paragraph, “The Kaiser Foundation’s Michael Sinclair told me that loveLife drew much of its inspiration from the marketing campaign for the soft drink Sprite” (Epstein 154). Epstein continues, “Sprite is now one of the most profitable drinks in the world because it manages to exploit what marketing experts call ‘the cool effect’- meaning the influence that a small number of opinion leaders can have on the norms and behavior of large numbers of their peers” (Epstein 154-5). Throughout the paragraph Epstein builds a common ground demonstrating that since the Sprite Company used a successful method to endorse their product, if loveLife uses the similar method their program should be a success. She offers an understanding of why people thought the loveLife program would succeed. Since “the cool effect” method was a success more people supported the program. If Epstein did not include this paragraph in the article, the paper loses the evidence of why there were so many people in support of the program. In my essay I built some common ground by stating that Gilbert supports his claim through studies that show people think of themselves as more special than others. It brings a connection between the reader and the claims. The reader might agree with Gilbert’s statement. I recognize how people might agree with Gilbert at first.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. In my introduction i can help add credibility by using quotes directly from Gilbert's text instead of putting it in my own words.
3.No my introduction does not contain a sentence that articulates my opinion or position instead I used Gilbert's position. From personal experience surrogates are the best way to make your choices in the most accurate way.
Evidence
3. A lifestyle brand that the red website has made up is that if you buy or wear something that is red especially the products they sell then, you are supporting the prevention of HIV and Aids. In Expert opinion from Epstein she believes that advertising and creating a lifestyle brand in Africa will not help. I think it is a good idea to brand that in the United States because the "cool effect"/ lifestyle branding is a huge success here. So the red lifestyle brand will help with the prevention and cure for HIV.
Common Ground
1. In page 156-157 Epstein states that "St. Charles Lwanga was independent of loveLife, and its budget was modest, less then a tenth of what loveLife spent on its billboards alone. The Inkanyezi program was staffed almost entirely of volunteers. Lack of funding greatly limited the help that Inkanyesi was able to provide. Nurses distributing tuberculosis medicine, antiretroviral drugs were unavailable" If Epstein left this out it would leave out the notion that all the money that loveLife has spent on advertising would be a waste. It does not help the people as much as a program like Inkanyesi can help even with less funds. I built common ground by stating and using the experiments and examples that Gilbert used in his essay.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. I could have described a scenario where I might have asked someone to help me out with a certain situation and ended up getting the wrong information.
3. “However, not all super-replicators are true.” I imply that there are two types of super-replicators: deceptive and true.
Evidence
3. Lifestyle branding influences people in ways that wants them to buy a product or join a cause. The Red website is one of many that use this technique. On the Red website, many popular companies are supporting the cause, including Beats by Dr. Dre, Coca-Cola, Starbucks, and Apple. As a result of this sponsorship from these companies, 3.6 million people have joined and pitched in $215 million dollars to help fight AIDS. The power of lifestyle branding is one that many companies and websites use to full effect.
Common Ground
1. ”Perhaps many attempts to prevent the spread of HIV fail because those in charge of them don't recognize that the decisions people make about sex are usually a matter of feeling and not calculation. In other words, sexual behavior is determined less by what Dr. Harrison called "discount rates" that young people "apply to future benefits" than by emotional attachments.”
In this passage, Epstein acknowledges that loveLife tried to educate the young people of South Africa but failed. She says that loveLife didn’t focus enough on the emotional part of being affected by HIV and therefore, failed to convince the teenagers of South Africa. If Epstein just trashed this paragraph, it would lose some logos and pathos because it takes away a logical and emotional aspect of that text.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. The best way to change my introduction in order to help it establish a bit more of a credible aspect would be to simply add a credible source. By using a source found from Google Scholar, it would add a very important point to my essay.
3. Figuring out a process alone can be very difficult, but with surrogacy, there is a far greater chance to learn and to use other peoples’ experiences to see the pros and cons to any task.
Evidence
3. This item is not currently on the (RED) website but I have seen it sold in other areas over time. A company known as Girl Skateboards made a skateboard that had the Red logo on it. All the professionals on their team were riding these boards which brought even more attention to the cause. More and more kids were researching what Red was, and trying to help in any way possible. Buying these boards started to make people feel like they were making a change and they felt great about it.
Common Ground
1. Adding her experience with the Rwandan children compared to the South African children was a extremely important element to add. She says, “When I asked the Rwandan children whether they had any questions for me, all they wanted to know was what they could do to help people with AIDS. The responses from the South African children were strikingly different. When I asked them if they had questions for me, they quickly changed the subject from AIDS and asked me what America was like and whereto I knew any of the pop stars they admired on TV.” Without this, we would not fully understand how these advertisements, basically using the cool effect, are not the right way to go about something like AIDS. It ends up making people focus too much on cool part, and not enough on what really matters.
Credibility- #1
ReplyDelete1. “Surveys showed that nearly everyone in South Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms” (152).
-Epstein shows her credibility in this quote by showing the readers that she has done some research and she even states what she found out in her research.
“Could this work? I wondered. Was it possible to reduce the spread of HIV without involving HIV positive people and the activist and community groups that supported them?”(153)
-In this quote Epstein gives her position about the discussion of Aids and HIV. She wants to find an approach in which is a more effective way to get her message of aids across different types of cultures.
Evidence- #1
1. “When I asked if they had questions for me, they quickly changed the subject from AIDS and asked me what America was like and whether I knew any of the pop stars they admired on TV.” (161)
-This quote is a great example of how Epstein supports her evidence. In this quote you can see how she provides her own experiences to support her claims.
2. , “The six billion interconnected people who cover the surface of our planet constitute a leviathan with twelve billion eyes, and anything that is seen by one pair of eyes can potentially be known to the entire beast in a matter of months, days, or even minutes.” (Gilbert 212)
-I used this quote to explain the reasoning to how there are so many people that theoretically, a person can know all of the people’s past experiences simply by asking.
Common Ground- #1
1.“A more realistic HIV prevention program would have paid less attention to rations and dreams unattainable for so many young people, and greater attention to the real circumstances in people’s lives that make it hard for them to avoid infection.” (161)
-Here she sums up everything she had been supporting all though out the article. Without this it would have been missing a part in the essay in which connects all her arguments to one.
Credibility:
ReplyDelete1. On page 155 Epstein explains, "Dr. Harrison arranged for me to visit a loveLife Y-Center in the archipelago of townships in the flat scrubland south of Johannesburg known as Vaal Triangle." In this passage she uses first person to explain exactly what she did in Johannesburg. She met with a doctor and received a firsthand experience of what it is like in a loveLife Y-center. Because she has this firsthand experience, the reader can trust that she knows what she is talking about because she actually went there and saw everything for herself.
However Epstien states her position later in the text. On page 161 she is talking about loveLife's colorful advertising methods and she states, "But its programs seemed to me to reinforce the denial that posed so many obstacles to preventing HIV in the first place." She believes that in order to help reduce the AIDS/HIV epidemic that we need to address, talk about, and make the issue known. That we can no longer avoid what is happening and that we need to treat those who already have the disease and prevent it from those who do not have it. The children need to be educated on how to prevent it for themselves and they need motivation to protect themselves against the virus. I selected this passage because it clearly shows Epstien's claim that loveLife's advertisments are not as effective as they could be.
Evidence:
1. "According to Harrison, traditional HIV prevention campaigns were too depressing." 9153).This is an expert opinion. We know from the text that Harrison is a doctor, so he has had completed a high education level and has gained much knowledge on the subject of AIDS/HIV. He has seen what works and doesn't work with keeping kids safe from AIDS/HIV. Epstien uses this opinion as a point to jump off of and argue.
"The average age at which young South Africans lose their virginity- around seventeen-..." (153). This is a statistic showing when young Africans lose their virginity. No one can argue with this point, because it has been statistically proven. But Epstein can use this fact to support he argument because she can talk about how important it is to talk with and educate young people on how to have safe sex.
"'It happened like this,' the older woman went on...I don't now why they haven't called." (157). This is quite along passage but it gives the reader an example of how someone may deal with AIDS/HIV. this older woman is an example herself but she also shares the story of telling her daughter that she is HIV positive. It is also an example of how people with AIDS/HIV are treated. they are treated poorly, no one wants to be near them so they do not receive the care they need, which is one of Epstiens points. That they need to treat the people with AIDS/HIV.
2. In my essay there is an expert opinion that is used to help support my claim. "Gilbert states that most of the information we know and understand is second hand knowledge." This quote explains Gilbert's view that most of the knowledge that we know is based off of what other people tell us. Gilbert is the expert on this topic because he is the one who wrote the text.
ReplyDeleteMy second for of evidence is found in my first body paragraph. It states "Gilbert said that the average paperboy in Philadelphia knows more than Galileo and Aristotle did." This is an example of the first quote about Gilbert. Gilbert provides this example in his text and then I used it to support that humans learn by receiving information from other humans. This example helps the reader to understand how far humans have come and how efficient they are in acquiring knowledge.
Common Ground:
1. "In the past couple of years, nearly a thousand loveLife billboards had sprouted all along the nation's main roads...Some people told me they found these ads oversexualized and disturbing." (154) Epstien address the concerns of others who think that the billboards advertising safe sex are too sexual, but she refutes this idea by saying that sex is one of the main themes in marketing. She understands that some people could b worried about that but she then explains that it is already in everyday things, such as underwear and movie ads. The loveLife ads just wanted to get people to responsibly think about sex.
Credibility
ReplyDelete#1) Epstein starts of the article talking about a Kaiser foundation named loveLife that seeked to prevent AIDS and HIV. She asks if this campaign may possibly work and illustrates her credibility in page 157 by saying, "In general, although sex was openly discussed at the Y-Center, the experience of AIDS was not. The Y- Center offered individual counseling for a small number of people with HIV, but those who were hungry, homeless or destitute, or were suffering from symptoms of AIDS, were told to consult other organizations." Epstein shows that although this Y-Center was created, it does not seem to be beneficial to people suffering from AIDS. She states her position by saying, "The loveLife Y-Center did little to help young people deal with such confusion, stigma, and shame." She goes on to say, "It turns out that talking about the pain, both physical and emotional, that the disease creates is far more difficult than getting over the embarrassment of talking about sex." It shows that the Y-Center was not fulfilling its purpose by helping AIDS victims speek and seek help.
Evidence
#1) In the beginning sentences of the article, Epstein starts by stating facts. She says that in 2005, the death rate for young women had tripled. She goes on to say "Surveys showed that nearly everyone in South Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness to an uninfected partner. Children were receiving AIDS education in school and condoms were widely available, but these programs made little difference." Its statistical facts and examples like these that caused a change by others. Public Health experts funded by Kaiser Family Foundation stepped in with the AIDS crisis. They aimed to launch prevention programs with large sources of support like the archbishop of Cape Town and other African figures.
#2) There are a couple of examples in my essay that support specific points. These points are taken directly from the Gilbert reading to support claims that he lists. These examples show that everyone believes they are unique based off 3 reasons. The first reason states that only we know ourselves. The second reason states that we try to fit in but like standing out. The third states that people just like believing they are special. Based off these reasons, Gilbert concludes by saying, “Our mythical belief in the variability and uniqueness of individuals is the main reason why we refuse to use others as surrogates….The irony, of course, is that surrogation is a cheap and effective way to predict one’s future emotions, but because we don’t realize just how similar we all are, we reject this reliable method and rely instead on our imagination, as flawed and fallible as they may be.” He explains that due to these 3 reasons, we do not use surrogates as much as we should.
Common Ground
#1) In page 158, Epstein says, “In 2003, the only African country that had seen a nationwide decline in HIV prevalence was Uganda. Since 1992 the HIV rate had fallen by some two-thirds, a success that saved perhaps a million lives. The program and policies that led to this success, but the epidemiologists Rand Stoneburner and Daniel Low-Beer have argued that a powerful role was played by the ordinary, but frank, conversations people had with family, friends and neighbors – not about sex, but about the frightening, calamitous effects of AIDS itself.” I believe that this quote builds common ground because it shows how out of all the African countries, only Uganda had a prevalent decline in HIV. It also states that this decline happened when families and friends opened up and talked about the horrors of AIDS. This quote holds a strong message in communicating and sheds light on the issue. Had this passage not been included, it would not have such a strong impact.
Credibility
ReplyDelete1. "At least South Africa's leader's were beginning to take AID's seriously, I thought, but what kind of program was this?" (153)
This quote shows that she has experience with South Africa not taking AID's seriously and that she's been in the country and seen the leaders put AID's off to the side.
"LoveLife's aim was to get young people talking, to each other and to their parents, so they would really understand on act on what they knew. But to reach out to them, you had to use a special language that young people could relate to."
Epstein says that when dealing with young people and AID's you have to communicate effectively.
Evidence
1. Facts and statistics: "By 2005, the death rate for young adults had tripled. Surveys showed that nearly everyone in Africa knew that HIV was sexually transmitted and that it could be prevented with condoms, abstinence, and faithfulness to an uninfected partner"(152). This fact shows that the death rate was still growing regardless of the common knowledge about HIV. It makes it more clear that there needs to be more done so less people will die.
Examples and Illustrations: "In the mid-1990's, sale of Sprite were flagging until the company began an aggressive campaign to embed Sprite in youth culture by sponsoring hip-hop concerts and planting attractive poplar kids… paying them to praise or distribute Sprite…"(154). This illustrates that ideas can effectively be transmitted to make people believe a certain thing or want to buy a certain product.They used Sprite as an example to show how loveLife was marketed.
Expert Opinion:: "'Kid's have changed,' Harrison explained…"(154). Epstein quotes Harrison, the founder of loveLfe, multiple times to explain why the program would be effective. He is a doctor who has some ethical appeal to the audience. The expert opinion of Harrison helps Epstein explain loveLife.
2."Fingerprints are the most unique feature on any human being and no two people have identical fingerprints." FACT.
"Gilbert, along with many other scientists, has come to the conclusion that "the average person does not see herself as average"(222)." EXPERT OPINION
These points of evidence helped me support the idea that no two people are alike. These were used to identify what Gilbert thought was the problem with people not taking advantage of surrogacy and furthering his point.
Common Ground
1. Epstein builds "common ground" by pointing out why the program was supposed to be beneficial, the "cool effect." "For this reason, loveLife had established a network of recreation centers for young people known as the Y-centers…"All Y-Center activities were led by …older youths, usually in their twenties, who, like the kids who made Sprite cool, were stylish and cheerful and enthusiastic about their product, in this case loveLife and it's programs to encourage safer sexual behavior"(155). In this passage Epstein recognizes that loveLife modeled it's program on Sprite's "cool effect" and that's why it was supposed to work. This is a reason why Epsteins head-on confrontation wasn't used in the first place. Because it wasn't cool to talk about HIV and AID's.
Credibility
ReplyDelete2. To make my introduction more credible, I could add some more synopsis of what I am going to talk about. Also, I could make sure that it is clear that these are Gilbert's ideas and that I and just reiterating and analyzing them.
3. Daniel Gilbert uses scientific evidence and real life examples to support his claim that by using surrogate experiences, humans can more accurately predict their future happiness than they can when basing decisions off of pure imagination. Unfortunately, Gilbert does not take into account varying situations and opportunities that each individual has when he argues that surrogacy is the most effective way to make a decision about the future.
Evidence
3. One example of lifestyle branding on the (Red) website is encouraging people to purchase bags. A percentage of these profits made off the bags will go to a fund to help fight AIDS by providing medication, pills, etc. Lifestyle branding influences people to do something so they can because it is what everyone else is doing. This kind of branding, as well as partnering up with large companies such as Apple, Starbucks and Beats by Dr. Dre is promoting the so called "cool affect." By having these brands present on their website, (Red) makes people feel that they will be doing the "cool" thing if they purchase a bag and help fight AIDS.
Common Ground
1. "Traditional HIV prevention campaigns were too depressing: They tried to scare people into changing their behavior, and this turned kids off. LoveLife's media campaign, on the other hand, was positive and cheerful, and resembled the bright, persuasive modern campaigns that many South Africans were very much attracted to" (153).
By saying this, Epstein shows that loveLife does have a valid argument and that in theory their ad campaign should be effective. Even though Epstein thinks that AIDS should be blatantly talked about and not avoided, she acknowledges that this way of advertising would at least get peoples attention. If Epstein had left this out of the essay, her argument would not be as strong as it is. Showing that loveLife's campaign tried and failed makes her way of dealing with the AIDS epidemic seem more valid.